1000 Things Batman Can Do
#246 – Cure Vampirism

Blood sucking creatures of the night are no match for the great bat-detectives amazing scientific knowledge.  A treacherous disease that has hounded the world of fiction and horror for over a century of story-telling cannot stand up to Batman’s continuity shattering chemistry set! And it’s not like he doesn’t have ample opportunity to test his skills out against the fanged fiends because in some way or another he is constantly tossed into battle with them.

Seriously for some reason Batman has run-ins with vampires ALL THE TIME. It’s not an uncommon occurrence for the Dark Knight to tackle with a vampiric out-break, battle undead criminals or even in more than one “else-world” creations, become one himself! It’s not even outside the range of his mythos to take on the head helio-drinker himself DRACULA! This is well documented in the animated movie aptly titled The Batman vs. Dracula.

Of course Batman doesn’t like this new comer to his city turning his peeps into undead slaves roaming his cemeteries and killing all his criminal punching bags, no sir! So Batman jumps right to work in true Batman style and does what no one else but HE can accomplish. Batman makes a vaccine for Dracula’s fang induced immortality curing the missing Gothamites and returning them to normal. That’s right, Batman can cure vampirism.

Over a hundred years of horror mythos is no match for his awesome scientific magic. No, all he needs is a vampire Joker subject and spit load of syringes to prod his way through to the king of all vampires. Slayers let it be known your barbaric staking of undead beings will no longer stand as Batman has done what you have never thought to even attempt, bring back ghouls from the depths of hell using an indiscript combination of what looks like water and garlic. The Watchers must be banging their heads in their libraries by now over all the wasted lives their lack of simple research has brought to the world, not to mention the eventual curing of all of humanity from the Vampire scourge. Truly Batman has humbled millions yet again with a meer weeks worth of blood tests. Now if only he’d cure that jackass Edward and rid the world of sparkly emo vamps.

Suck it Buffy. Just one more thing that Batman can do.